give or take what i already knew and learned about love

I felt like I was listening to a British Carrie Bradshaw intoning advice in a fun cadence and chipper spirit for most of this read. And I love Sex and the City. I do, though, have a resounding need to disclose that I don't think all of the advice shared necessarily needs to be followed. My attempt to put it as kindly as possible is this: It seems to me like it took Alderton quite some time and soul-searching to reach some of the conclusions I've known within myself and about myself for quite some time. Some of the relationship advice made me cringe, but I adore the unabashed, positively feminine perspective offered from lots of time spent thinking about and adventuring for love.
That's not to say reading about someone's else life journey and lessons and heartbreaks isn't gratifying or worthwhile---it certainly is. In fact, I think it's fascinating to read about the choices and situations of others who operate within very different lifestyles than you. At its heart, that's what the art of reading fiction can be boiled down to. But knowing this is nonfiction, that Alderton is a very real and brave woman to live through and pen her plethora of experiences, is a whole other story.
Which brings me to one of the first times I thought, "This is really not like my life"---cocaine. All the stuff about coke reminded me that I never had any experiments or experiences like the ones described here, that I have never had to live with the reality of a dependency on this kind of drug. It brought to mind Cynthia Weiner's A Gorgeous Excitement all over again. It's heavy stuff.
Alderton's expressions on how “nothing changes” resonated with me because it made me wonder if I would’ve been nodding my head vehemently yes if I hadn’t met my boyfriend at the time I did. The timing has led me to where I am now, but going down the rabbit hole of "what if?" isn't something I want to do today (or here). There are plenty of pros and cons to being both single and in a couple. That’s just how it (how life) goes.
Alongside this school of thought is Alderton's ability to make the concept of female friendships feel so tangible and precious. These are the kinds of relationships we know are special and meant to be protected in our heart of hearts, but I think Alderton's writing shines in her ability to display the beauty of female friendships in the midst of life as well as the fragility of maintaining them in the midst of life. Her emphatic advice to keep female friendships and relationships close and prioritized resonated with me greatly. I’m happy the end of the book lands on this sentiment out of all the topics covered, because I think Alderton’s really nailed this part of the “advice column” aspect.
Girlhood looks like a whole lot of things. Alderton's crack at putting most of it into words was entertaining at best.



Some of my favorite quotes from ​Everything I Know About Love: 


"When you’re looking for love and it seems like you might not ever find it, remember you probably have access to an abundance of it already, just not the romantic kind."

"Do as much good as you can. The weighty representation of the world cannot rest on every decision you make."

"The perfect man is kind, funny and generous. He bends down to say hello to dogs and puts up shelves."

---