the theology of love

As a single Christian woman, it may appear strange for me to have read a book geared towards unpacking what the Bible says about marriage and sex. But in reality, as a single Christian woman, I feel like it is imperative for me to invest in gaining a healthy mindset towards a future that may include marriage. And also, this book is about more than just marriage and sex: it is about the fundamentals of male and female, how God created us and the intimacy of sex, and how this world has distorted what started out very good. I read this book with my mother outside on our patio every Saturday and Sunday morning, and I have to say that there is something about reading books aloud that helps in really absorbing the information. As we read through this book together, we had so many good and deep conversations concerning both of our ideals towards dating and marriage, our views surrounding what the Bible has to say about sexual sin, and how I view healthy relationships as a single person. We owe these life giving discussions to John Mark Comer's amazing writing. Loveology is the first book of his that I have read, but I am already itching to buy more! His conversational and often humorous writing style kept us both engaged and laughing; it truly feels like you are just having a casual talk with him over coffee. In terms of what this book gets down and dirty with, I believe that it digs deep and gets muddy in the stuff that today's culture has caused us to feel complacent in. Whether that be sex before marriage, types of intimacy in dating relationships, how marriages turn out healthy and unhealthy, and how it all started in the garden of Eden with God and his first two humans, it is the kind of book that pulls you out of those places of complacency and makes you think and question. Not everyone may agree with everything Comer has to say, but I encourage those who choose to read this book to approach its topics in the same way that Comer does: with a biblical frame of reference. Because it all comes down to this: God created love, sex, marriage, intimacy, males, and females to be very good things. The reason why these things have experienced perversion is because this world is not perfect. But doing our best to live and love the way God intended is what He wills for us and what this book helps to illustrate.



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Some of my favorite quotes from Loveology:

"We were set up to love. To absorb the love of God into our bloodstream and then to share it with another human being."

"Jesus' life is the example for how to love. It's that easy. And that difficult."

"To God, your identity -- what makes you you -- isn't rooted in the past (who you were) or in the present (who you are), but in the future -- who you are becoming." I absolutely love this quote because it gives us as imperfect humans "room." It truly encapsulates the kind of love and grace that God has for us, that he constantly has his sights set on the best version of who we can be and believing that one day we will be that.

"Do not underestimate what he can do in your life to put you back together."

"If he isn't doing anything with his life to that matters for God's kingdom, how will you partner with him?"

"Will we buy the lie? Go our own way, thinking we know better than God?"

"The word helper is ezer in Hebrew. It sounds derogatory in English, like God made Adam a personal assistant. But it’s not that way at all in the original language. Ezer can be translated “partner” — one who comes alongside to help achieve a goal."

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