to be or not to be...

For the past few weeks, I've seen this novel's chilling cover and heard its intriguing name around TikTok and other platforms. Most people were expressing their desire to read it during the height of fall - aka spooky season - since the novel most certainly passes the "Halloween" vibe check. I'm not much of a mood reader in the sense of reading certain genres or titles during specific months or holiday seasons, so I went ahead and checked out a copy from my local library despite the humid, sweltering hot summer days that seem insistent to reign in terror until the very end of August. Curling up with this book transported me to a very different landscape, the kind of place my autumnal soul and body crave year round. If We Were Villains takes place at the Dellecher Classical Conservatory, a prestigious school of acting and other fine arts in Illinois. The seven main characters - or actors, if you will - have reached their fourth and final year at the institution, having proven to possess grit and talent through surviving three rigorous years. This final year proves to be quite hellish when one of their most gifted classmates dies a horrendous, unexplainable death. Despite the remaining, traumatized six agreeing that their friend's death was an accident, there soon proves to be much more bubbling under the surface of these young men and women's educations, love lives, and hyper fixations on Shakespeare. It is this emphasis on the genius and passion of Shakespeare himself as well as his many works that acts as a motivator for these students even in the wake of gaping death. I love how the students, more brothers and sisters than peers, speak to each other in English as well as disjointed lines from Shakespearean comedies and tragedies, communicating in their own elite, academic sort of way. Literarily, this was a genius move on the author's part, since the undertones of these poetically-charged lines function to display the character's personalities, raw theatrical skills, and subtle foreshadowing of events yet to unfold. Speaking of personalities, each character is intricately crafted and stands on their own. At one point, I was suspicious of every one of them, thinking them possible of murder for one reason or another. And at the next point, I was sure they couldn't have been more innocent. Truly good writing on that part. My favorite scene was definitely the fourth years' immersive performance of Macbeth on the shore of Dellecher's lake on Halloween night. The reminiscence of Dead Poets Society, classic coming of age themes, a brilliantly spooky setting that made me want to leave behind my sunny West Coast home for chillier, muted Midwestern autumns and winters, and undeniable curiosity concerning whether the inciting incident was an accident or a cold-blooded murder all kept me so invested in this book. It was hard to put it down. I think I'll definitely try to reread it one day, knowing how it ends and what to look for that I couldn't have possibly caught the first time. My only real complaint was that Shakespeare is hard to read and really digest without companion guides (at least for me), so some scenes dragged on a bit. The unexpected, shocking ending of the story, complete with a double plot twist that had me terribly sad and then terribly hopeful, is more than enough to power through the slower portions. I definitely recommend staying up until one in the morning to finish it while listening to the Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban score if you'd like to fully immerse yourself in the eeriness of this fantastic book. :)



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Some of my favorite quotes from If We Were Villains:

"Halloween approached like a tiger in the night, with a soft rumble of warning."

"For someone who loved words as much as I did, it was amazing how often they failed me."

"'I don't know, it's like I look at you and suddenly the sonnets make sense. The good ones, anyway.'"

"You can justify anything if you do it poetically enough."

"It's not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I'm in love with him still."

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