to whatever end

(SPOILERS AHEAD) I never know quite where to begin for any book review I write and usually just start writing what first comes to my mind (Exhibit A). I feel even more discombobulated trying to approach Sarah J Maas books, for reasons I think anyone who's read any of her series understands: she writes massive narratives with so many amazing characters and complex plot lines that you could start anywhere and probably end up talking about so many things but still think of something else you could've also brought up later. Such are my sentiments for the final book in the Throne of Glass series. 
It took me a while to get through this book. Yes, it's nearly 1,000 pages. But I honestly think I was unconsciously delaying finishing the series. I realized after I actually finished the book that I'd been trucking along with this series since February of this year. February. From the moment I borrowed the first available copy of Throne of Glass from my local library to the last turn of Kingdom of Ash's page late into the night, I've been consistently living vicariously in the world of this wonderful story. And what a wonderful story it is. Sure, it's full of violence and doesn't shy away from a multitude of mature concepts. But it portrays these messy, hurtful parts of being human in incredibly well-written characters (most of whom are not entirely human themselves). Fiction, especially fantasy fiction, really does have the power to portray some of the truest things in the real world through made up worlds. I think of Aelin's insurmountable trauma from several relationships, time spent as a literal slave, physical torture, and the weight of a predestined, self-destructive fate. If this doesn't qualify Aelin as a "strong female main character," I truly don't know what would. And she's just one of many: Manon, Lysandra, Elide, Nesryn, Yrene, Borte -- the list goes on and on. The portrayal of healthy as well as toxic masculinity in this series is also profound. I think it's easiest to look to Rowan's cadre for prime evidence, but I also think of Dorian and Chaol. Theirs is a friendship that at times felt a bit shallow but, in Kingdom of Ash, struck me as truly and beautifully raw and real. The two of them grew up together without so much as an inkling of the physical and psychological war they'd have to endure together. The moment they reunite in Kingdom of Ash really gets me, especially considering that for Dorian, the sight of Chaol standing in front of the khagan's summoned army is proof that he was successful in everything he promised to do for his king as well as himself. Chaol did leave Dorian behind in that glass castle and suffered the consequences of knowing he didn't save his friend when it counted most. But looking at how they fight for one another with everything they have to offer in this final book felt like a great full circle moment. The goodbyes they exchange with Aelin at the very end of the book also brought me to tears, considering how the entire series started with the three of them and branched out from there. SJM really is good at writing satisfying full circle moments.
(BIGGER SPOILERS AHEAD)
There are so many more things I could bring up, so here are some of my rapid fire thoughts: I'm not the biggest fan of battle/war scenes, but the way everything fell into place in the last 75% was awesome; Elide and Lorcan's relationship = all the chef's kisses; I already loved Dorian, but fell just a bit harder when he casually learned how to shapeshift and singlehandedly took down Morath; Aelin running across the camp toward Lorcan in her chains and using her assassin's training to get the guards to cut her chains off is just... perfection...; Manon facing her grandmother and the other matrons was such a beautiful display of a female character embracing her full potential and ancestorial ties; why did Gavriel have to die????; I'm not a fan of the Lysandra and Aedion pairing because Aedion really made some emotionally damaging moves I honestly think are unforgivable (aka throwing the woman he loves out in the snow naked); Fenrys quickly became one of my favorite characters while I grew more and more confused by where Maeve's loyalties were supposed to lie; Dorian's father showing up at the Lock felt really out of pocket; I'm disappointed our female main character had to give up her powers to save the world (aka I don't like this trope); BUT Yrene being the ultimate heroine with her healing powers was THE BEST (her and Aelin's reunion was also oh so perfect); is another book series chronicling Nesryn's reign as Antica's empress too much to ask for?; the Thirteen's sacrifice physically hurt to read; and finally, it's no easy feat to wrap up a seven-book-long story, but this conclusion felt satisfying in all the right ways (excluding Dorian and Manon's ending, which I wanted more of).
Anyways... I'll be thinking about this series for a long time. I don't know if I'll ever reread it in its entirety (I'll definitely be paying The Assassin's Blade another visit, though), but it has been very formative in my ongoing journey as a fantasy reader and writer. :)


Some of my favorite quotes from Kingdom of Ash:

"Let’s make this a fight worthy of a song."

"Gods above, she was beautiful. He wondered when it would stop feeling like a betrayal to think so." (Dorian to Manon).

​"Elide laughed again. 'Lord Lorcan Lochan?'
It sounded just as ridiculous coming out.
Lorcan blinked at her, then howled.
She'd never heard such a joyous sound."

"'We're a long way from Innish,' Yrene whispered.
'But lost no longer,' Aelin whispered back, voice breaking as they embraced. The two women who had held the fate of their world between them. Who had saved it." 

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